Tree of Life

Write a short creative or critical piece that is inspired by any of the works that we have looked at this week (in lectures & tutorials)

Death & darkness surrounds me

The rumbled ground, stabbing the soles of my feet

As I walk through the sadness & despair of the past

Nothing but full of regret & tortuous pain.

Shall I go east?

To where the rusting bones of history?

Waiting, through the rustling weeds of sin & torture

For the right time to punch on their prey

And strip every single piece of dignity i have left

Or shall I go West?

Where a beaming bright light

enlightens the path ahead

vaporising every single thing that is covered in obsidian

reflecting only the things in life

in which we always take for granted

However there is something peculiar in the distance

something vibrant

glowing like the sunset

in the afternoon during the summer

The end of the lightened path

leads to a tree

with succulent fruit

treeoflife.jpg
http://livethepromise.net/TREE-OF-LIFE.html

blossoming from the flowers in which grows

The plant makes me feel warmth

stimulating the braincells that are left

with forgiveness and a welcoming vibe

do i dare to get any closer?

Will i burst up into flames

because of everything i have done in the past?

Or will I,

just be washed of the sins that are chaining me down

setting me free from the slavery of my mistakes

and become a new and improved individual?

The millions of thoughts going through my head

should i touch it?

should i consume the fruit it produces?

should i just stare at it?

or should i look through it

to see where it leads

Only one way to find out….

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4 thoughts on “Tree of Life

  1. briannamwblog says:

    I love this! This is such a unique creative post.
    The notes I would critique you on a quite small ones, which through proof reading with yourself and another person would be quickly identifiable.
    The 6th line, “To where the the rusting bones of history”. The word ‘the’ is duplicated. Also with this sentence, I am unsure if you missed a question mark or if you aren’t asking a question at all. Simple revision, and it will be as spectacular as the rest.
    The 11th line, “Where a beam bright light”. Should it be ‘beaming’ or ‘a beam of’? Also, I was just a bit confused with the 25th line “The plant makes me feel warmth, stimulating the braincells that are left in..” I feel a bit lost in its meaning. Again, very small critiques I am picking on here but would make all the difference in the world.
    I really loved the imagery of “Glowing like the sunset/In the afternoon during the summer”. It gives such a magnificent colour to the poem. I also found that “Will I/Just be washed of the sins that are chaining me down/Setting me free from the slavery of my mistakes” was really interesting. The final lines, “Only one way to find out..” leaves me with suspense and I just want to know what happens!
    Wonderful read. 

    Like

  2. michaelgriffith1 says:

    This is very promising Joshua. It has imaginative power. However, it does need careful editing and pruning down to the essentials. It would then gain more force. Here is my attempt to prune your first few lines:

    Death & darkness

    rumbled ground, stabbing my feet

    I walk through sadness & despair

    Nothing but regrets & pain.

    Shall I go east?

    to the rusting bones of history?

    Waiting

    For the time to punch the prey

    stripping every piece of dignity

    Or shall I go West?

    Where a beaming bright light

    enlightens the path

    vaporising all that is covered in obsidian

    reflecting only the things

    which we take for granted

    How’s that ???

    Like

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